The Awkward story of the Phantom Cock.

So this is a bit of an odd blog to write, it isn’t travel related, It isn’t even really about me. Technically it is about a bad choice I once made which actually became a really good one.  Since we are officially now in spring and with spring comes fresh life all around us I was inspired to tell you a little story. This week has been very exciting, I officially became a grandparent. This might seem a little weird since I am only 33 and I have no children but bare with me on this one.

In July 2015 I was camping with some friends near Longleat, Wiltshire. We had selected a rather nice campsite away from the animal park. IMG_4349.JPG

The owner of the camp had a coop full of chickens. There were about 30 older chickens and 2 cocks at least, tons of baby chicks ran around. A majority were golden in coloured which gave a strong indication of parentage. In honesty, It was all like a weird hobby with the added pleasure of possible interbreeding to keep the owner’s young Grandchildren occupied. They would line the chickens up ready for chick school and had given them names, chase them about, hand feed them, point out their favourites and change their opinion every two minutes. Never the less the owner had a sign up stating “Bantams for sale!”.

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Now Bantams are funny little things, about half the size of a normal chicken with big feathered feet. They are known to be rather feisty and full of personality and it just happened that some of my besties have chickens and wanted bantams.

I got so excited by this prospect of us driving away with a few little chickens. Of course, I don’t have room for a chicken in my travel lifestyle. Therefore I came up to an agreement. I would choose one of the chickens and pay for it. She would pay for her own upkeep by laying eggs, which I would, of course, benefit from in the future while visiting for chicken cuddles.

Picking the Chicks was less that amusing. The ones we desired which we could honestly state had different parentage just happened to be the little girls favourite. They ran around filling a Mini coup with one they had grown tired of playing with. One girl would claim… “That’s betty you can have her she bit me last week” her sister would pipe up “no I like betty” and thus betty was taken away from us to a life of uncertainty.

IMG_4472I was determined to have a dark Bantam and thus when one was selected for the Mini coup I popped her in a box straight away before the girls had a chance to say anything. I named it quickly so they couldn’t change their mind and thus Phantom was ours. I think we had all grown a bit tiresome during this experience.

So off we went with Three chick Bantams. From here it was plain sailing, feed them up and watch them become the laying hens my friends had dreamed off.

This was until August while we were away again as a group. We had a phone call “so you know your three hens” Yes Matt started worrying about what was next… “well, the dark one just cock doodle Doo she is most defiantly a cockerel.”

So it would seem that I am now the parent of a fully-fledged cock. As you can imagine this has become rather the focus of many jokes within my friend cycle. Rachael, the Lesbian with a Phantom Cock.

Luckily Phantoms other parents, Gen and Matt, have seen the funny side in all this. My little cock has rather a lot of personalities, not only is he noisy but also rather the feisty boy. He stamps his feet at intruders, bosses his woman around, swings his tiny member in the wrong place and at times is quite the pervert and sex pest. Remember that end old question for all woman “what would you do it you had a penis for a day?” I honestly believe I don’t have to wonder anymore as Phantom is acting this out to the horror of bystanders.

I have been rather absent from my cocks life recently through lots of circumstances, however, earlier this week I received a message… Phantom is now a Dad. To 6 beautiful cute Easter chicks of his own.

They are cute and delicate and although there was talk about rehoming them Matt has decided “he is too in love and is keeping them all”. I have made a lot of bad choices in life but I guess this one has become a good one.

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Well-done Phantom. xxx

Happy spring everyone.

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